I'm not macho about many things; one of the few exceptions is road trips. I don't know what comes over me when I am planning a long trip, but somehow the idea of stopping and resting seems wrong. I love the blur of the the United States as seen from the Interstate. I love seeing the signs welcoming me to yet another county. I love seeing destination signs to cities that aren't even in the same time zone as my eventual location. I love going into a gas station in Virginia and asking the distance to Las Cruces. (Rule number 1 to the major road trip: You know you're getting close when you can ask the distance to your destination and get an answer.) I love driving around at 10 AM with my headlights turned on because I had been driving all night. When I pull into the FINA at 3 AM, the thought is always the same. I may not qualify as a professional driver (and thus be able to use the showers) but I sure am a dedicated amateur.
So you too enjoy the road trip. You want to follow in the ways of the ZZYZXian Road Warrior. Here is everything you need: