SPANDEX's Return

(part the sixteenth)

"How can I be depressed when bean burritos are only $0.69 at Taco Bell?"- excerpt from the famed Collected Letters of ZZYZX.

While I was being swept along the 74th Annual Senior Class Lemming March, I tried to take some time to wonder how I got in this situation. I was doing a good job tracing back being on this death march as far back as second grade. I then began to wonder if this meant that history was predetermined or if I was just reasoning cause from effect. While my conscious mind was mulling over this quandry, the rest of my brain was trying to figure out a way to survive, a way to get an answer to this dilemma. It suddenly occurred to me- the ZZYZXraft. When I was at the SPHINX's tollbooth, he gave me this floatation device in addition to the map. As I didn't see the relevance to that in the plot, I didn't bother mentioning it then. (By the way, for those of you wondering why it is called the ZZYZXraft and not the SPHINXraft, he suggested the name. I figured that if he was nice enough to give me a raft, I should let him name it.)

The march was almost at the river itself. I pulled the miniscule inflatable boat out of my vest pocket. There, of course, is a problem with using an inflatable boat- it must be inflated. I had a sudden image of me treading water, desparately trying to inflate this thing. However SPANDEX does provide; GRIF-HO! The person in front of me was carrying a hand pump. I borrowed it from her and started the inflationary process. By the time we were at the banks. I had a usable raft. I quickly returned the pump and jumped aboard.

My original plan was to wait until the lemmings finished their processional. Then then, I figured, I could use the ZZYZXpaddles to get to shore. However, when I was planning this, a passing UFO came by and used its tractor beam on me. I soon felt myself being swept into the spaceship.


This story is copyright 1997 by David Steinberg and may be distributed freely as long as this cute little note is attached.

Read the previous part
Read the next part
Back to the table of contents