Hopping into the ZZYZXmobile, I activated the ZZYZXdrive. This was a recent invention of mine and it greatly eased travel. What is does is to enable you to move from one place to another providing they both have the same name. To effectively use it, one must know many obscure locations. For this trip, I noticed that I was starting out in Annandale, NY . Therefore it was a piece o' cake for me to flick the switch on the ZZYZX drive and find myself in Annandale, VA. From this northern Virginia town, it was a short drive to our nation's capital. Once in Washington, I quickly zapped myself to Washington, PA. Cruising down I-70, I soon hit California, PA; from there I could go anywhere in the state. Arriving in the place mentioned in the Weekly World News, I set up my weirdness detector. I knew it would shortly direct me to where I could address the manifestation first hand.
The reaction I got from the machine was not what I expected. If anything, local weirdness readings were below normal. In fact there was a pocket of total normalcy not 5 miles away. Lacking any other leads, I decided to check it out. There was a billboard there with an arrow pointing down. I got out of the car to investigate. Under the sign I found a note addressed: ZZYZX. Seeing how that is me, I had no moral qualms over opening it and reading it. It said, "Much is afoot. Check the Date!!! With much respect- TOTOA" Check the date. What could that mean? Returning to the ZZYZXmobile, my eyes wandered to my favourite tabloid ... dated January 8th, 1974. It was not my friend who visited me in Annandale, rather it was a demon in diguise who tricked me into travelling cross country.
"OK," I thought, "I'll play your game." I turned on the ZZYZXdrive to reverse my course, only to find that it was destroyed. Moreover the only place where it could be fixed was in my secret lab in the sub-sub-sub-basement in Albee. It was shaping up to be a long day.
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