SPANDEX's Return

(part the twenty-first)

I looked out my window. All I could see was the young woman and the mob chasing her. They were between me and her looked like they had every intention of ripping her to shreds. She suddenly stopped and faced the angry crowd. She held her left hand high. She was wearing a ring in the shape of a goldfish. As the sunlight hit it, rays shot out from her ring and surrounded the crowd. After a tense moment where one could feel forces clashing in the air, the crowd faded away into nothingness. Seeing that the ZZYZXmobile remained after her attack, she took me for an ally and hopped in.

"I'm FRESCA," she said. Befre I could give my name, she saw my look of confusion, recognized it, and alleviated it by telling this story:

"When my mother was very young, she loved to drink sodas. Despite being exposed to the plethora of soft drinks that thrive in the free market, she had a definite favourite. It was somewhat hard to find, but she would always talk Grandma into going to 4 or 5 stores until she got it. This was all well and good, until one fateful day when they took it off the market- something to do with a 'saccharine scare.' She was despondant for a while... and then slowly forgot about it. Every now and then she'd remember this heavenly beverage and sigh.

"Time passed. She got married and was pregnant with me. She went to a OneStop to get some pickles. She walked by the refrigerator section and saw her beloved grapefruit flavoured soda. She rushed to the counter, paid the cashier, popped the top, started to drink, and had to spit it out; it was too bitter. So she named me FRESCA to symbolize her lost innocence. She thought she was being deep, but she should try going through 8th grade with a name like that."

Her story over, I felt free to ask her why the mob was chasing her. She answered that it was a religious persecution. What? She worshipped a goldfish and SPANDEX was held in high regard here....

"SPANDEX?" she interrupted. "SPANDEX is a cat."


This story is copyright 1997 by David Steinberg and may be distributed freely as long as this cute little note is attached.

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