SPANDEX's Return

(part the fifth)

I decided to check my new map to see where the largest nearby green field was. I saw one that looked perfect across the Utah border. It was about 3 hours away. I reached across to the ZZYZXdeck and cranked up the volume. "Surf City, here come the sharks. Surf City, here come the sharks."

Driving across Nevada, I reflected on the idea of a sacrifice. What would I be able to use? as I recalled from my theology class, the Old Testament used animals for sacrifices. Jesus, being the perfect sacrifice, ended that practice; "It is finished," he said from the cross. However SPANDEX superceded Jesus. But while He ended the sacrifice of the cross, He never did ever state what kind of sacrifice was now used. I had many a late night bull session on this very topic, but we never did come to a satisfactory conclusion. It was no longer just a topic to be kicked around; it was now all too serious.

When I arrived at the field, there was already a a huge crowd gathered. I couldn't even begin to imagine how they knew. They were all circled around a table. When I walked up to it (The crowd parted to make a path for me.), I saw an envelope addressed to "ZZYZX." I opened it up and read the message. "You might want this. Send my love to Omar. With lots and lots of friendliness, TOTOA." Also in the envelope was what I had to agree was the perfect sacrifice. It was a package of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. I went up to the altar (in the shape of a goldfish bowl) and threw them in there. There was a huge explosion. Dust was everywhere, obscuring visibility to well under 8 inches. When it finally cleared, I was alone. Alone that is, except for one guy. He came up to me and shook my hand.

"Hi I'm OMAR. TOTOA sent me. Get into the ZZYZXmobile. We have some travelling to do."


"This story is copyright 1995 by David Steinberg and may be distributed freely as long as this cute little note is attached.

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