SPANDEX's Return

(part the eighth)

(version 2.0)

I bid OMAR goodbye with a bad taste in my mouth. I mean, yes the mathematics cult was wrong in their beliefs. Yes destroying their faith could help lead them to THE ONE TRUE RELIGION. Yes, only through SPANDEX can one discover TRUE BLISS. Discovering SPANDEX leads to infinite pleasure and any amount of finite discomfort should be used if it will lead someone down the RIGHT PATH. Yes, yes, yes, YES.... and yet I still felt ill at ease. I do not like playing these games and I feared that as the end times approached I would have to play them more and more frequently. I needed to have my faith renewed.

Stepping out of the ZZYZXmobile, I knew that I had the right idea. This was the only place I could go. I had been here once before after all. It was a few years earlier. I had just invented the ZZYZXdrive, although it did not have that name. I was testing it out and ended up in California. While it got me there just fine, it broke upon re-entry. While I was busy trying to figure out what had gone wrong, SPANDEX revealed Himself to me. He left me with a copy of THE GOOD BOOK, a fixed vehicle, and a mild afterglow of joy. It was then that I decided to christen myself after the place where it occured. And there I was again. I looked up at the sign "ZZYZX Road, 1 Mile," it said. I tried to recreate the mood of the day. And then a beam

When I left SPANDEX's presence I was still blown away. The amount of bliss that I had felt was incredible, but even that is but what a fraction of what we will feel when SPANDEX gives us bodies that are more capable of feeling happiness, and even THAT will be nothing compared to what He feels every day. Just reflecting back upon the encounter causes shivers of pleasure to run up and down my spine. I finally understood one of the more frequently quoted statements of THE GOOD BOOK, "While without faith man is nothing, with faith it is nothing that will be denied him." This is not a metaphor or anything like that. It is the literal truth. That is what I learned, for I had faith. I was happy.


This story is copyright 1996 by David Steinberg and may be distributed freely as long as this cute little note is attached.

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